Shawna – On My Weigh – blog 2

***Shawna is a client of our ours, that’s willing to weekly share her weight loss journey. She’s a mother, wife and works a full time job. All of her comments are in her own words, unedited. Please contact us to start your journey, info@ironfit.ca, 7807184805***

Rock Bottom

Hello, my name is Shawna, and I am a food addict.

They say with any addiction, one must reach rock bottom before something in them clicks and they have their “enough is enough” moment.  My addiction happens to be food.  And my rock bottom happened on January 1, 2018 when I weighed in at 308.6 pounds.

I told myself I would never let myself get to 300, but there I was, OVER 300.  What did I do to myself?  How could I have allowed this to happen?  I knew I was gaining weight, but I didn’t realize it was as bad as it was.  Yes, I had been meeting with my personal trainer since November, but I still didn’t get my eating under control.  I basically worked out to keep up with my food addiction.

I thought I had hit rock bottom several times over the years.  My first attempt at weightloss was in September of 2003, when I joined TOPS.  I weighed 247.5 pounds.  I was a stay at home mom to a 2 year old and 4 year old.  I didn’t go to a gym.  Our budget didn’t allow it at the time.  I did, however, have a daily newspaper route.  I would get up at 3 AM to go pick up my papers and I would go deliver them.  It was a combo of driving and walking, and took me about 90 minutes.  I managed to lose about 40 pounds.  My goal at the time was to get to 200 pounds.  I made it to 202.  And then I gained it all back, plus a bit more.

Another rock bottom hit…my sister was getting married and I was her matron-of-honor.  No way in HELL was I going to wear a fancy dress as an overweight woman, so again, I get on the horse, and lost weight again.  I really don’t remember what my weightloss was at that time.  Alot of that time of my life is a huge blur, but damn I looked great in that dress.  It was kind of bittersweet because people were not just looking at my sister, but at me too!!!  They should have been looking at the bride.  It did feel great!  I still didn’t get to my 200 pound goal, but I still felt great, because I had done it again.  I lost weight!

This yo yo routine continued.  I would manage to lose weight, only to gain it back plus more.  I didn’t really know why.  I mean, I knew what had to be done.  I knew what not to eat, and I knew that I needed to move.  It’s basic science, really.

In 2016 I weighed 290 pounds.  I swore to myself I would not allow myself to get to 300…but here I was 10 pounds away. Ugh.  Why?  So again, I did what I needed to do to lose the weight.  At this point in time I did have a gym membership and so I had no excuses.  I started to lose the weight (again) and I even managed to get new clothes for work…the next size down!!!  I was pretty excited.  But then come fall, I had done it again…gave up, quit…call it what you want…I gained. AGAIN.  Great.  My new work clothes didn’t fit, but I wasn’t about to bring them back and admit that I had gained…So I just kept them.  And it just got worse.  I would lose 4 pounds, gain 3.  Lose 5 pounds, gain 3.  It was a very slow process.

Everything I tried, I always gave it an honest attempt…for 3 or 4 months.  Then something would just make me…stop.  To this day I don’t know what it was.  Was it psychological?  Was I afraid to lose more than the usual 40 pounds I seemed to manage to lose?  Why did I always quit after that magic number????  Well as of today I am 278…I have lost 30 pounds and I plan to keep it off this time!  I have invested way too much time and way too much money this time.  I have spent money and time at the gym, with my personal trainer and I have spent money and time meal planning, prepping, cooking, packing my lunches for work etc.  So no, I have zero intentions on giving in to my negative self talk this time.

Next week I think I would like to tell you all about the weightloss challenge I joined in January and how I’ve been doing.

Until then…stay healthy and keep moving.

Shawna